Why Being Lonely is Sometimes Super Awesome

 

The top 10 reasons why being lonely can "sometimes" be super awesome. Thanks to one of my favorite TV shows, "Scrubs", for giving me this idea.

1) You don't have to share your toys....
...And if you're lonely, chances are that you have a lot.

Lonely

2) You really bond with your animals. All 500 of them.

3) You never have to deal with drama or arguments unless they are internal conflicts.
The downside to this is you seem to have a lot of internal arguments.

4) You save money on food...
...or you eat enough food for two people and get super fat

Or enough food for four people in this man's case.

5) Wine lasts longer when you don't have to share it with someone.
Alcoholics Anonymous is free to attend as well.

6) You learn the power of a vibrator. If you're a man, you get that much closer to your hand. As any deaf person could tell you via sign language, having good hand motion is important.

This is just happens to be how you say the word "important" in ASL. This guy definitely knows how important his hands are.

7) There's no one to hear you cry during a moment of weakness.

8) There is no one to yell at you when you don't use a coaster. If you're a man, you can leave the toilet seat up all the time. In fact, why not just take the toilet seat completely off? Who needs the thing?

9) You could die in your home and it might be weeks before anyone finds you. When they do find you, your body will be so bloated and decayed that you will forever live in infamy as the "person who rotted in their home". Infamy can be a good thing if you wish not to be forgotten.

Infamy.

10) When your loneliness becomes too much and you decide to kill yourself, no one will be there to stop you from reaching your goal.