What

This is What:

What lives in a place called Tarnation:

What in tarnation

Not to be confused with What from Tar Nation:

What in Tar Nation

Now you might be asking yourself,
 
"What the hell?"

and my answer to you is:

Exactly.

No One Needs Ponies

Everyone always talks about the apocalypse, particularly the zombie apocalypse.

Apocalypses are happening all around us but we fail to see them. Why else would there be such a term as "Galactic Cannibalism".--A favorite apocalypse of mine.

Nom nom nom

In 2012 we have experienced the Galapagos Island Turtle Apocalypse. Check out the link below if you somehow missed this riveting article:

Famed Galapagos Tortoise Lonesome George Dies

I also find it endlessly amusing to watch the tomato hornworm apocalypse that happens every summer in my garden. These hornworms are literally eaten from the inside out by parasitic wasps. Some of the wasps are even know to inject a virus into the worm's brain that basically turns the worm into a zombie. It is fascinating and you should watch the video below if you have never seen it:

But I think we should start preparing ourselves for a pony apolcalypse.

Question: Who needs ponies?
Answer: If they aren't paired with rainbows and butterflies--NO ONE!

Which is exactly why we should be keeping a close eye on ponies!! The most dangerous animals in this world are the ones with nothing to lose.

What if ponies became zombies? Do you think you could survive the pony apocalypse? You wouldn't be expecting a bunch of blood thirsty, brain eating ponies would you? Sure, you were prepared for humans eating humans but you weren't prepared for a 600 pound miniature horse that wants nothing more than to slurp on your intestines like spaghetti!

In reality, humans probably could survive a pony apocalypse because no one really need ponies. We would just need to make a highly deadly pony poison that would exterminate all ponies from the face of  the earth. No one would really notice the missing ponies except maybe little kids on their birthday. Just give those kids a pony pinata filled with candy and they probably would forget about the whole thing.

Of course you would have to deal with door to door salesman coming by saying "Hello Sir. Have you sprayed your home against ponies recently? You know, you have to be proactive when it comes to pony poisoning."

Could you survive the door to door pony poison salesmen?

As I write this I am hoping that this post will get really popular and some guy will snort bath salts, read this blog, and go eat a pony. Then you can all gush over my power of persuasion and thank me for saving some poor sap's face.