God kills a cute, furry creature every time you ignore my blog



You heard me right. Something cute and cuddly keeps dying because of you people. The only way you can save these creatures is by making my blog famous. And just why am I holier than thou? The answer is very simple:

I'm Awesome.

The only problem is I need to prove this to people before all the cute furry things in our world are expunged. I have come up with a few ideas on how to convince everyone else that I am awesome and that they need to jump for freaking joy every time I post something new....and I need your help.

You know that Sesame Street book called "There's a Monster at the End of this Book"? This post is sort of like that...but there's no monster at the end of the posting. Instead there are cute furry things....you need to read all of this, follow the instructions carefully, (I love Oxford commas) or else something squishy and soft will become extinct. It's true. God made it so.

So this is how you can save the world of cute, furry, squishy, soft, (I love Oxford commas) and oh so utterly adorable creatures:

1) Follow me.

This is very simple. There should be a link somewhere at the top of this page that says FOLLOW. Push it and follow instructions. Perhaps the link should say "Follow Me Bitches" instead. I think patronizing my readers is the best way to get some attention. There is also a nice little box in the top right of this page that says SUBMIT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING EMAIL SO YOU KNOW WHEN I POST SOMETHING NEW. I suggest you try it before God makes something bad happen.



Follow me or the Twitter bird gets it.


2) After you read my blog, leave a comment.

Boost my ego and tell me how brilliant I am. Tell me how stupid I am. Tell me how your day was. Point out my grammatical errors. The point is: I don't care what you say, just say something! Statistics show that at least 50 people read my blog on any given day but not one of you leaves a comment. Do you know how many furry animals die because of this?

This is what is going through the mind of a new reader:

New Reader: "Hey! This blog called Tripping on Dingo Daisy looks pretty cool. I think I might read it."

**Now is when they read the blog**

New Reader: "Oh look.... no one ever leaves her a comment so she must not be nearly as awesome as I thought."

**Now is when some poor kid's puppy dies**

You can save this kid's puppy if you would just leave a comment. Please stop emailing me and sending me messages on Facebook about how much you like my blog. I like the feedback but please leave your comments here for everyone to see (You can leave them on Facebook as well but just make sure you leave them here first). Help me be the queen of awesome blogs before a cute cuddly critter sadly ends his or her life way too early due to your neglect!

3) Tell your friends that I need your help saving all the cute cuddly creatures in this world.

Tell them to come here: http://meminimoo.blogspot.com/. Spread the word! Post it to your Twitter and Facebook account! Cute and cuddly things everywhere will thank you.

4) Make a mother fucking ribbon for god sakes.

Make a mother fucking tiger striped ribbon and pin it to your god damn chest so everyone knows that you support me and my awesome....as well as all those poor cute furry creatures.

Save the mother fucking cute, furry creatures from God's wrath! Go to http://meminimoo.blogspot.com/!!

Look at what happened on Wednesday you bastards!

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/03/15/148672548/star-rabbit-dies-when-photographer-takes-wrong-step

It's your fault! We must save those pitiful no eared creatures!

Grover will be dead in 24 hours unless you follow the instructions above. You don't want Grover's blue blood on your hands do you?