If someone peed on me

Obviously this person would be a man. Otherwise you would be a very talented women.

So assuming you're a man that just peed on me, I would go all Lorena Bobbit on your ass and chop your dick off. Except when I cut off your wanker there will be no reattaching it like they did for John Bobbit. Then I would plead temporary insanity because the toxins in your piss soaked into my skin and caused me to temporarily turn into a psychotic penis chopping maniac.

Of course this rule does not apply to the infants, super old farts, disabled individuals, clinically insane people, and monkeys . If you belong to one of these groups then please proceed with the poo flinging and pee-pee shooting.

The reason I am writing about this topic is because recently a good friend of mine (Who incidentally is a sane man) told me he did just that. He was taking a shower with his wife and thought it would be funny to wizz on her. As jaw dropping as this admission is, I was even more surprised that his penis was still attached to his body and divorce papers weren't sitting on his desk

Honestly, there are certain things you just don't do to you wife, girlfriend, or friends. One of them happens to be urinating on them. Unless getting pee-peed on is some sort of strange sexual fantasy you have....then it is ok as long as both parties agree to your nasty perversions.

And this story reminds me of another story a man told me once about his wife. They were at a festival downtown and his wife decided she needed to use the porta-potty. While she was in the porta-potty he decided it would be really hilarious to tip it over. I'm sure you can imagine how well that worked out for him.

And yet somehow the porta-potty husband and the golden shower husband are still married and somehow both men still have their original wang attached. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMEN? How much abuse do you have to take? Anything that deals with getting pissed and/or shit on should not be tolerated by one possessing a vagina.

It is so vile that I believe it should be an option when you file for divorce.

Legal grounds for divorce: (Please circle one)

1. Incurable Insanity
2. Abandonment
3. Cruel or barbarous treatment that endangers the life of the other.
4. Adultery
5. Excessive use of alcohol or drugs
6. Spouse knowingly and voluntarily allowed piss and/or fecal matter, not belonging to the other, to be smeared on the other's body.

So to all you men reading this, please think twice before you decide it would be funny to whizz or take a dump on a female companion. You might find yourself with no dick and an alimony payment.
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Note: I am so passionate about his blog post that I am not even adding silly pictures (Except for the one at the beginning that I need for sharing purposes). In fact, I feel so intense about this subject that I think we should start a foundation to help raise awareness to both men and women about the dangers of pissing and shitting on your significant other. We shall call it the "Foundation Established Cause Excrement Sucks" or FECES for short.