My blog is going to suck from now on. That is a promise.

It's been awhile since I have posted anything but badly drawn MS paint pictures (Which were super-de-duper fantastic I might add). The main reason for my discretion is because I have been writing for everyone else and not myself.

Once my blog started getting bigger (and by bigger I mean 10 more people started reading it and most of them were family), people kept throwing ideas at me about what I should write about. I stopped writing for me and instead wrote for everyone else. Whenever I actually wrote something for me, I would get phone calls and emails from people asking if I was alright because what I posted "scared" them. Well, apparently you don't know this but I am a completely scary person.

Now that I am going to write things that I want to write about, you will probably find me to be justifiably egocentric and/or clinically insane. I assure you that I am both.

I no longer care how much I fucking swear and whose feelings I might hurt. I no longer care what the fuck you think and, most importantly, IF I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT MURDERING PENGUINS, DOTS SWIMMING IN MY HEAD, AND HOW YOU SHOULD BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT THEN I AM GOING TO FUCKING TURN MY COMPUTER ON AND WRITE IT. Then I am going to post it. Then you will be influenced by my neurosis. Then you, in turn, might one day become as neurotic as I am. I like to call it the circle of absurdity. <Insert Lion King theme music here>

I also like to ramble. A lot.

Lastly, I no longer care about your fucking grammar. If you want to be a grammar Nazi, then by all means do so, but do it to someone who fucking gives a shit. Oh wait, I give a shit-- I give a shit on the hood of your car.

So no more bullshit. This is all me. Naked, uncensored, uncut, and overly provoked by stupid fucking people. And that is a promise.

.........And I really will shit on the hood of your car if you tempt me.